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newVideoPlayer("/80_ChevyMonteCarlo_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Back when Chrysler was getting bailed out by Uncle Sam and frantically readying their new K Car saviors, The General replied by re-blinging the Monte and adding a Malaise Grade 170-horsepower Buick V6. Nice redline!
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newVideoPlayer("/87_ChevyDealer_BernieCarbo_494.flv", 506, 423,""); When you're going for a celebrity endorsement of your car dealership, you have to pay extra for a celebrity who will show some enthusiasm for your lineup of Celebrities and Sprints and/or enunciate clearly. In this case, Casey Chevrolet opted for the no-frills delivery of Red Sox hero Bernie Carbo . Can you feel the passion for that Celebrity Eurosport?
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newVideoPlayer("/78_Zephyr_Chevette_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Here's a two-for-one Classic Ad Watch deal from the darkest days of the Malaise Era . First up, a Gladding Chevrolet (Maryland) offer for a Chevette with factory air for just 99 bucks a month. Before you jump in the time machine to take advantage of that sweet deal, however, consider the '79 Mercury Zephyr, which was cheaper than both the Toyota Corona and the '78 Zephyr.
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newVideoPlayer("/85_Corvette_476.flv", 506, 423,""); We may laugh at the early C4 Corvette these days, since most of the ones you see now are beat-to-hell heaps adorned with custom gear purchased from Manny, Moe, and Jack. Back in the mid-80s, however, it was quite the bang-for-buck deal, selling for $25K- half the cost of the Porsche 928S- and outhandling some of Europe's hottest machinery. OK, fine, the build quality wasn't so great and the engine only made 230 horsepower and the styling screamed "small-time coke dealer," but it would eat up a Ferrari on the race track!
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newVideoPlayer("/63_Chevrolets_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Who in September 1963 would have predicted the crazy shit that was about to go down in this country, starting with Dallas in November, continuing through all the riots and wars and madness, and culminating in the 1910 Fruitgum Company becoming one of the most popular acts in the country? Not this wholesome stick-figure couple, who express themselves via 1890s-snake-oil-ad fonts as they enthuse over the idea of camping out at their local Chevy dealership in hopes of seeing the new Corvair.
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newVideoPlayer("/89_Camaro_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Why did the Berlin Wall go crashing down in 1989? Some might try to confuse you with all sorts of economic or political gibberish, but the answer is actually real simple : the third-generation Camaro destroyed the Evil Empire's will to live! Look at the triumphant American Camaro owners in this ad- with 230 horsepower (that is, for those who bought the IROC; the base V6 had 130 horses) at their command, victory was theirs!
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newVideoPlayer("/83_Camaro_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Whether you were grabbing a gear with the 190-horse IROC- oh, wait, you couldn't get the manual transmission with the Tuned Port Injection 305- or experiencing the joys of leaky rubber seals with your Berlinetta's T-tops, the 1985 Camaro let you live it! The glitchy VHS recording just makes this ad that much more Eighties, we think.
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newVideoPlayer("/85_Celebrity_Urinesport_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Perhaps it's because every Celebrity ever made looked like it had 200,000 rough miles on the clock by the end of its second year on the road- fading plastic, trim panels a-dangling, and so on, or maybe it's the acre upon acre of clapped-out examples you see clogging up the GM section at every junkyard in the country. Either way, it seems impossible to picture the '85 Celebrity Eurosport as a new car , much less one that carried an air of class and sophistication.
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newVideoPlayer("67_Camaro_SS350_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Chevrolet's Mustang fighter was a big deal when first unveiled, and The General figured they'd need to break out the big guns when it came to advertising the new '67 Camaro. Spare no expense! So, of course, they hired a crew of cut-rate special-effects technicians from the set of a made-for-TV monster movie and put together this fine advertisement. Make the jump to experience some more Cheepnis, courtesy of Mr. Zappa.
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newVideoPlayer("80_Chevette_Dealer_476.flv", 494, 413,""); You Chicago-area folks might remember Timmy of Long Chevrolet in Elmhurst, in which case you've already been inoculated against the effects of this stunning combo of Malaise Era machinery, bad suits, brain-scouringly bad UHF production values, and Timmy's shouts. Chevettes Chevettes Chevettes!
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newVideoPlayer("84_Sprint_476.flv", 463, 387,""); Yes, 53 highway MPG... 24 years ago. The little rebadged Suzuki got the kind of gas mileage that many Prius drivers will never see in real-world driving, but we're betting that today's car buyers would find its noise and lack of cupholders absolutely intolerable. Still, can you do this in a Prius?
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newVideoPlayer("69_Impala_5thDimension_476.flv", 463, 387,""); We thought it couldn't have been possible for a car commercial to out-cheeze Ford's '69 Torino ad , but we may have a contender here from The General. The Fifth Dimension, of "Up, Up, and Away" and "Age of Aquarius" fame, have put on their flammable outfits and are ready to move some iron off the lot. Move along with Impala by Chevrolet!
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newVideoPlayer("55_Chevrolets_476.flv", 463, 387,""); Most 1950s car ads are full of gibberish and nonsensical feature names, so it's understandable that we tend to tune out most of the hype and focus on the great styling when we see such ads today. However, the 1955 Chevrolet really was an important milestone for Detroit, with the first of millions of cheap, reliable small-block Chevrolet V8s and a profile that even non-car geeks can recognize today. Here's a series of what appear to be dealer promo ads for the '55- quick, in addition to "Motoramic™" and "Glide Ride™," how many trademarked features can you name from these ads?
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newVideoPlayer("70_Nova_OJ_Simpson_476.flv", 463, 387,""); The 1970 Chevy Nova was a pretty good car, simple and quite versatile; you could get one with a gas-sipping 153-cube four-cylinder engine, a hoon-a-pa-loozic 396 big-block, or just about anything in between (though the standard 307 was sort of a dud). Not only that, it was a better automobile than O.J. Simpson... who seems angry at the suggestion that the Nova is cheaper to run than he is.
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newVideoPlayer("70_Chevelle_SS396_476.flv", 463, 387,""); Sure, it's Maximum El Camino Day , but we mustn't forget that the classic El Caminos of the '64-72 Musclecar Era were Chevelles with truck beds. Here's an ad for the '70 Chevelle SS 396, which wisely doesn't make any references to the 396's LS6 big brother. Hey, maybe the G8amino will have hood pins as a factory option!
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